Food for thought..

I've always been over weight, never obese, but overweight. I have a strong frame and a higher than average muscle mass for women but t my heaviest I was 5'4 and 196lbs... I'm now down to 155lbs. It's taken me a year and half to get here and it's still a work in progress.

I love food, I love eating, I love sugar and carbs. I have an addiction. The problem with this addiction is that I can't just quit cold turkey (no pun intended). I HAVE to eat, I have to be exposed to the object of my addiction every day, all day. It's a never ending battle.

So now you might think, how the heck did she lose 40lbs then?! Well, 2 years ago in my darkest moment I was eating tons of junk all the time and leading a pretty lazy life. Suddenly a pretty traumatic experience left me realizing how unhealthy and unfit I had become. I decided to join the gym. It was the single best decision I've ever made. I knew I was going to need more than a laminated card and a free gym bag to get me through the doors on a regular basis so I also invested in a personal trainer. At first it was hard, I dreaded working out, and I never came in outside of training time to do cardio. I still ate too much food, both healthy and unhealthy. Six months later something in my head clicked and I really started paying attention to what I was eating and coming in to do cardio. I can't tell you what the trigger was, all I can say is that I really started feeling that high people go on about after working out, and I started craving it instead of fatty and/or sugary foods.

At my most dedicated I was probably eating around 1500 calories a day in healthy foods, working out 6 days a week for 40minutes to an hour and working a pretty physical job. It lasted 4 or so months before I fell off the wagon.... Looking back it was probably the fact that my personal training sessions ran out. I was no longer accountable to anyone else in terms of my fitness level. I eventually caught myself and started getting back into the swing of healthy living, it lasted an other 2 or so months before I once again fell victim to laziness and excessive calories. It's been 2 months and I'm still in that funk.

Thankfully, I have won a large scholarship that I've decided to invest in my own personal health. I bought a years worth of personal training.. I'm so excited! Hopefully this will be the kick in the pants I need to get to my ideal weight and fitness level. I'm gradually starting to get back on the cardio, I hope to have reached my fitness "goals" by my birthday in December...

School...

So as you know, I'm a slave grad student. I'm in the research stage of my Masters and work in the field of animal agriculture. I end up spending a lot of time covered in things normally used to fertilize tomato plants. It also makes for very early mornings and long days... but I love it.

Funny thing is if you had told me this time last year that I was going to grad school, I would have laughed at you until someone told me to stop because I was being obnoxious. After finishing my undergrad last April, I was going to take a year off from school to figure out what I wanted to do and make a bit of money.

After a summer spent working 2 part-time jobs on a crazy schedule I realized I reaaalllyy didn't want to keep doing that for an other 8 months. I ended up seriously considering a job as a personal trainer at the gym I was working customer service at when one of those unique opportunities that change your life was dropped in my Inbox.

I got an e-mail about a Masters opportunity that was still accepting applications; the project was in exactly the field I was really interested in and I figured there was no harm in applying. The only hitch was that it was due to start pretty much the next week. I wrote my letter of intent, pulled my references together, requested my transcripts and applied in 48 hours. And here I am, 6 months into a 2 year thesis-based masters. 

Title..

So you may be wondering what the heck the title of this blog is all about. Or you may have already realized I'm pretty simple minded and it means exactly what you think it means. Either way I'm going to tell you. This blog will be about my observations of life and love but also, and possibly most importantly, the bitter things that can sour them. Hence life, love and lemons.

Now when I was trying to think of a title, I came up with unique ideas that ranged from "Where it all began.." to "Life as I see it" and by the end I would have been happy with "oh f*ck it". The reason for this frustration stemmed from the realization that I wasn't the only one in the universe starting random blogs about life, and they had stolen all the good titles. Damn it. Even the title I have know was already taken by some random 25 year old virgin who was bullied as a child (yes, I did read the blogs that had stolen my creativity). But then I thought what does it matter if I'm not unique? I like the title, there's no copyright, and nobody's going to read this anyway, so I stuck with it.

Where it all began...

So how to start? Well I was sitting in bed with my laptop watching season 1 of Sex and the City on a Saturday night (yes, I'm that girl). As I was watching Carrie type away on her laptop about her thoughts on love and sex and calling it a news column, I thought - you know what, that's not a bad idea - so here I am.

If you're reading this you're either me, really bored, lost in cyberspace or any combination of those. I make no guarantees on the quality or quantity of that that is to be posted, however I do guarantee that it will be random and misguided. This blog is a place for me to write my thoughts, feelings and anything else my hands type out.

I'm a a 20-something grad student in a department of over-acheivers, I work a customer service job on the side and sometimes feel like a psychiatrist. I feel aimless. I yearn to settle down but at the same time yearn to experience life to it's fullest. I'm pulled in opposite dirrections that in the end leave me standing still. Where do I go from here? Hopefully this blog will help me see my inner most thoughts and show me my path.